There are a lot of miserable people in this world and there is a vast industry to help them:

• An army of therapists
• Libraries of self-help books
• Self development and motivational speakers
• Psychics
• Agony aunts
• Prozac and other drugs

Anyone can set themselves up as an expert on curing human misery. Most of these people are papering emotional cracks, putting plasters on mental wounds. Few really go into the very nature of the mind and how we get miserable in the first place. They may claim to do this by going back into childhood stuff, your relationship to your parents and your siblings. Of course, if you were regularly beaten by your parents, then you are probably fairly miserable now, so there is some merit in re-visiting childhood trauma.

How far do you want to go back? What caused your father to beat you up? Did his father beat him up? What about his grandparents and his great grand parents. When did this cycle of abuse begin?

Is there any way to discover the cause of misery and then cure your self of this misery?

To go on this mental journey is difficult and sometimes painful. If you have anorexia then go to an NLP practitioner or Cognitive Therapist. They can cure your eating disorder and return you to a normal unhappy person, but without the extreme habit of starving yourself to death.

To get to the root of unhappiness is to get to the root nature of your own mind. How does your mind operate? Thoughts arise and you react to these thoughts. Your reaction could be attraction. You are thinking about someone you love, so are attracted to these thoughts. You then think of something you don’t like, rats perhaps, and you are repelled by these thoughts.

Some things attract you and you call them pleasure and some things repel you and you call them pain. You go towards pleasure and away from pain. Or is it that simple? If misery is pain, then why can’t you seem to go from it. Is there something contained in the misery that attracts you?

If you are a miserable person then this becomes an integral part of your identity. It is an aspect of who you are. You are programmed for survival. Your identity, your sense of self, is the mechanism that tries to ensure your survival. Anything that threatens that identity, appears as if it were threatening your survival. Getting rid of misery is getting rid of part of your self.

You  may seek relief from misery through sex, holidays, eating, alcohol – but all these do is provide temporary relief from your misery.

Can you psychologically kill off your self? Can you demolish your identity and then be re-born as a new happy you?

This is possible, but there is no quick fix, no magic sword to do this with.

The first step is to have faith that it is possible to end the suffering in your life. The second step is to find the method, the strategies and skills that you need to become happy. The third step is to have the courage to start this journey.

Stress can have a major influence on your health. Whilst some stress is a natural component of life, too much can seriously affect your health. Many conditions such as heart disease and IBS are linked to stress.

One of the causes of stress is being disorganized, which makes you feel that you are not controlling your life.

Ask yourself the following questions:

• Is your office so cluttered that you waste valuable time searching for the things that you need right now?
• Do you sometimes wish for more hours in the week to finish all the tasks that need doing?
• Is your lack of organisation holding you back and causing you stress?
• Have you got the ideal work/life balance?
• Do you lose your car keys because you have forgotten where you left them?

If you answered yes to any of these questions then you could do with some help in organizing your life.

Organizing Your Life is a new book that is available to download for free at: http://lifemanagerpro.com

This book details easy and simple strategies for getting (and staying) organized at work and home.

You will learn:

• How to de-clutter your home and office
• How to turn clutter into harmony
• The secret of getting rid of stuff
• The art of organization
• Home and family management
• How to organize your children
• The COPE formula for organizing your life
• How to hire an organizer
• Smart time management for busy mums
• How to stay organized

These are strategies that you can start to put into practice today.

Download the free book today from lifemanagerpro.com

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If you lead a busy life then you probably create a large to do list each week. Sometimes this can be overwhelming. The traditional way of dealing with the to do list is to rank the items in order of urgency:

• Low
• Medium
• High
• Urgent

Then you start with the urgent tasks, then high, then medium, until you reach the low priority tasks, by which time your may have reached the end of your working week and have no time left to finish then all. But, hey, they are non urgent, so it doesn’t really matter if they don’t all get done. or is it?

How do you judge whether a task is urgent or not? Generally you look at what would happen if a task is not done. If urgent tasks don’t get done then you think that there will be a big impact on your life, but if low tasks don’t get done then the impact will be less.

How confident are you that you can predict the outcome of things?

Consider the Butterfly Effect theory. This states that a butterfly flapping its wings on one side of the world could somehow affect the weather patterns thousands of miles away. Although a theory, serious scientists say that simple, seemingly insignificant things can have much bigger effects than is apparent at first.  The straw that broke the camels back is based on the story of piling straw onto a camel. There is only so much weight that the camel can stand before its back is broken. There is a tipping point where just one extra straw makes all the difference. One straw weighs very little , but its impact when it is placed on the camel’s back is catastrophic resulting in a broken back.

Of course there is no actual flapping butterfly that has been observed to cause a hurricane, and no camel’s were hurt during this thought experiment. What these examples show is that small events can have great impact.

Here are more examples:

• You get on the middle carriage of a train and sit down next to a girl. You get talking and six months later you are married.
• You miss a plane by 10 minutes and curse the traffic that delayed you. The plane you were due to take crashes and kills all those on board.
• Faced with spending some time in the hospital waiting room, you pick up a woman’s magazine. You read an article about the plight of the poor in India which moves you so much that you fly to India to volunteer with the Mother Teressa organization.

Each of these actions in themselves seem to have no particular importance. You appear to randomly stand at the middle of the platform. You think that you casually pick up the magazine.

What this shows in the context of your to do list, is how difficult it is for you to predict the outcome of doing the low priority tasks. But, you may ask, the problem is getting all the tasks done. How can you be more productive? How do you get more things done in a week so that the low priority tasks don’t get left undone?

One way is to organise you tasks in a better, more efficient way. Take a look at Life Manager Pro, this may be just the thing that you need to get things done.

What’s wrong with having positive thoughts?  Well, obviously most of the time it’s OK to think positively but taken to a fundamental level, as has often been the case, then positive thinking is not always realistic thinking. Barbara makes a case for positive thinking being a large factor in the  recent collapse of the banking system. Many people were making money from the sub prime mortgage market in which money to buy housing was given to the less well off. These mortgage debts were then sold on in the form of financial securities to people who saw vast amounts of profits to be made from them .

A few individuals saw that there was a basic flaw in the prime mortgage market. The system  relied on house prices always going up. If a low paid worker could not keep up with the payments, they could always release some funds by re-mortgaging to finance the payments. But what happens if house prices start falling?

People who voiced these concerns were not listened to. They were accused of being too negative, and in a banking culture where positive thinking was the order of the day, negative thought was not to be listened to.

Of course the ‘negative’ people were right, and when house prices started to fall, the whole banking house of cards began to collapse, resulting in the failure of the banking system.

If positive thinking and positive psychology can have such devastating effect, then how are we to proceed? What is needed is realistic rather than positive thinking alone. What is realistic thinking?

Here are some examples:

• If your boss fires you then get angry with him.
• If your partner leaves you for another then get mad and throw a plate or two.
• If a careless driver crashes into your brand new car then scream at him or her.
• If your washing machine springs a leak and floods the kitchen then swear out loud.
• If an earthquake ruins your house then shout at God for allowing such a thing.

All the above responses are realistic and appropriate responses to the situation. You are not repressing how you feel by coating it in some positive thinking stuff. The zealots of positive thinking and positive psychology say:

• If your boss fires you see it as an opportunity. One door closes another one opens.
• If your partner leaves you then realise that you can attract an even better partner
• Never mind,  insurance will cover the damage on the car.
• Maybe your washing machine was not energy efficient. Now is the time to go out and buy a super Eco friendly rated washing machine
• You wanted to renovate your house anyway so now is the right time to do it.

None of the psychobabble helps. Something awful has happened and you have very right to feel mad and negative.

The problem here is not your first response, which may be negative, but how long you hold onto that response. Once you have vented your anger, sworn or cursed God, then it is time to move on from focusing on the problem to focusing on the solution, and once your focus is solution orientated then positive thinking arises.

Barbara also points out the flaw in the law of attraction. If you are a fan of the law of attraction then you say that  you have attracted to yourself all the situations in the above scenarios. In some cases that could be the case. Your boss may have fired you because you were incompetent, your partner left you because your were cruel to him, your washing machine was old, so no wonder it broke.  If you always take this view then you are neglecting the chaos that is in the world. Sometimes shit just happens. Randomness and chaos appear frequently to disrupt your life. Not everything is your fault. There maybe no one to blame. There has just been a terrible earthquake in Haiti. There is no one to blame for this. Nobody attracted the earthquake. It just happened.

When things don’t go your way, get mad, then stand up and do something about it. True negativity is when you hang onto the negative thoughts to the point where depression overwhelms you. When life knocks you down, stay on the ground for a moment or two and curse the gods. then get up, brush yourself off and walk on.

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This Christmas I went to see the film The Avatar. It’s a great film, especially the world created in breathtaking 3D. Sitting in the Imax cinema it was like being on a beautiful colourful planet  filled with exotic plants and creatures.

The film is rumoured to be the most expensive film ever made. The end credits seem to go on for ever as there is a vast army of people involved in the making of the movie.

Many of the notable makers of Avatar have personal assistants. This got me thinking, wouldn’t it be great to have a personal assistant to organize my life for me.

I could call up an agency and order one. Or maybe I could outsource my life to an Indian administration company.

None of these options are practical for me. I cannot afford a personal assistant, and if I could I am not sure where I would put him or her in my cramped office space.

The alternative is to use a software system to manage my life. I have looked at many software packages out there, but none seemed to fit my needs. So I decided to create my own. Several months later, and the result is Life Manager Pro, a personal digital organizer.

With this software you will be able to:

• Get more things done in a day -  no longer feel overwhelmed by the amount of things that you need to do

• Find it easier to achieve your goals – Setting goals is easy, but achieving your goals can be difficult and complicated. Life Manager Pro makes the whole process simple and easy.

• Free up valuable time – Spend more quality time with your family or doing the things that you really enjoy.

• Always feel in control – A major cause of stress is feeling out of control in your life. With Life Manager Pro you will take back control and feel much more relaxed. Organizing your life is simple.

• Make organizing simple -  Your life can feel complicated and difficult. Life Manager Pro is the key to discovering how easy and straight forward life can be.

• Don’t rely on your memory – Life Manager Pro remembers everything for you so you don’t have to.

I invite you to try out Life Manager Pro today. Download the 30 day trial.

For further information go to lifemanagerpro.com

So now it’s nearly Christmas and then we head to the end of the year and the end of the decade. It’s a time to reflect on the year and look forward to the next year.

If you are into self development then you may want to review your progress. How far has your life travelled this year? What are your goals for next year?

Its been a roller coaster of a year for me that started with a house fire at the beginning of January which was a big lesson in  letting go, as most of my possessions went up in flames.

Only a few things survived including my trusty Imac which emerged blackened with smoke. The man from my insurance company told me that all the carbon from the fire would mean that the components inside would not work.  This could have been disastrous as all my work stuff was on it, and the back up disk next to it was destroyed by the fire. Undaunted I gave it a good clean and then it came to life with the familiar Apple fanfare sound. The only thing that refused to work was the mouse which I replaced. The Imac has been working perfectly ever since, though its once pristine white exterior is duller than it once was. Thank you Apple for making such sturdy computers!

That’s how life is,  you can focus on the negative things that happen like nearly dying in a fire, or the good things like valuable business data being saved. I also focus on the fact that I am now living in a beautiful countryside village in the North of England with my fiancee and I am founding a new software company LifeField Software. The future looks bright.

Have a happy Christmas and a great New Year.

Life Manager Pro

As I get older I tend to forget things – or maybe I was always forgetful and I notice it more!

I used to think that this problem was peculiar to me, but the more I looked into it, I found that human brains are not wired up to retain and recall lots of information. That’s why post-it notes are so useful, or notes attached to the fridge to remind you when your running out of groceries.

Do you:

• Forget to pay your bills on time and receive threatening letters?
• Have to return to the supermarket because you forgot a vital ingredient for the gourmet meal you are making?
• Forget your friend’s birthday?
• Can’t remember where you put your car keys, your glasses, your pills?

We all suffer from forgetfulness. So what is the best way to remember what needs doing and avoid the stress associated with forgetiong important things?

Over the years I’ve tried lots of computer programs to organize my life and help me remember things. I’ve used:

• Outlook
• Palm devices
• Information databases
• Contact and to do programs

I’d stick with one for a while then move to the next. All these systems have there pros and cons, but non was ideal for me.

I then came across a book by David Allen called Getting Things Done  (or GTD) and this opened my eyes to a new way of organizing my  life in a much less stressful way. The Getting Things Done approach has been used by many thousands of people. Using this method my productivity increased and my stress levels went down. For more information go to David Allen’s site.

Though you can implement Getting Things Done using only a pencil and paper, I decided to search for a computer program to help me. There are quite a few out there and I tried many, but none seemed to fully use the whole of the GTD system or work the way I like to work. So I decided to create my own system.

Many months later the system is finished. It’s called Life Manager Pro and with this program you will be able to:

• Get more things done in a day
  You no longer feel overwhelmed by the amount of things that you need to do
• Free up valuable time
  Spend more quality time with your family or doing the things that you really enjoy
• Always feel in control
  A major cause of stress is feeling out of control in your life. With Life Manager Pro you will take back control and feel much more relaxed.
• Make Organizing your life simple
  Organizing your life can feel complicated and difficult. Life Manager Pro is the key to discovering how easy and straight forward life can be.
• No longer need to rely on your memory
  Life Manager Pro remembers everything for you so you don’t have to

Try out this program yourself today. Find out more.

There is a version for Windows and Macintosh users.

Your brain will thank you!

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I used to do some work for a business that taught massage therapists a new approach to bodywork. Using new techniques they became better therapists and this benefitted their clients who received deeper and more healing bodywork. The office of this company had a large board that was filled with glowing testimonials to how great the training courses were.

Everyone associated with the company was encouraged to think positively, always aware of the great things that the company stood for. The more massages people received using their approach, the more the world would improve. We were on a mission to help the world!

Occasionally a letter or email of complaint would arrive in the office. Most businesses at one time or another receive criticism no matter how successful they are. Whenever a complaint came in, the head of the company would call the senders ‘negative’ people who were only there to moan and complain. The policy was that no complaint was to be taken seriously. The company did not need to deal with these ‘negative’ people who would not join in the positive thinking that the company required..

So these complainers would find that no matter how constructive their criticism was, their issues would not be addressed, and they would be in effect told to go away and stop being negative. They would then tell at least 10 of their friends about how badly they had been treated and what a shoddy company it was. This process harmed the company by putting a lot of potential customers off.

Shortly before the banking collapse one or two people told the banks that there was a big flaw in the sub-prime mortgage market which could lead to serious financial problems. These people were told to stop being so negative. The bankers were so busy making lots of money that they did not want to hear that the financial bubble could burst.

There is a big cult of positive thinking in many companies. Positive thinking can be very useful. If you have a goal in life it does help to think positively that you are going to achieve the goal, but there are times when positive thinking can be the wrong thing to do and can actually be harmful. There are times when it is appropriate to:

• Get mad when your boss fires you
• Realise when a project is not going to work out and needs abandoning
• Not throw good money after bad
• Feel disappointed when your sports team loses badly
• Feel sad when your relationship breaks up

To want to always be positive and upbeat is to ignore the basic nature of human beings. Life has many shades, many moods, many aspects. Yes, be positive lots of the time, stick with things when obstacles appear, feel love for your fellow human  beings and so on.

Negative emotions are not bad as long as you don’t hang onto them. Occasionally open your mouth wide and let out a great scream of frustration. It will make you feel better. Then get on with the rest of your life.

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This has been a hectic week. I’ve been finishing my software project Life Manager Pro and also getting my house ready for laminate flooring to be fitted.

Sometimes it seems that there is just too much to do each day. Do you lead a hectic busy life? What does it take to just slow down and relax whilst still getting things done?

The secret is to only concentrate on only what needs doing now. If you have a hundred things to attend to then break them down into smaller sections. The two main categories that actions fall into are those that need doing next and those that can be done later,  perhaps in a day or two.  You then divide your next actions into contexts. A context can be a location such as your home or office, or equipment such as the computer or your telephone.

If, for example, you decide to do call actions you then sit with your telephone and look at the list of people that you need to call and dial the number of person one on your list. As soon as you start dialing forget about everything else that needs doing. There is only one action that needs doing now.  Simply relax and make the call.

A great deal of stress can arise from a feeling of being overwhelmed. Remember, you are only ever able to do one action at a time and that is the only thing that need occupy your attention. The rest is on a list. When you have finished one action cross it off the list and move onto the next action. Forget about the 99 other actions that need doing.

Obviously you need to system to take care of all this. The simplest way to start is with a pen and a piece of paper where you write down all the things that you need to do. Then you divide them into next and later actions before allocating contexts to your next actions.

If you try this system and it works for you then you will find yourself under less stress. You can then expand the system and really find out how easier life can be. Life Manager Pro is a simple yet effective software solution to organising all the things that you need to get done. It’s not yet finished. Come back to this site for further news in a few days.

More Stress Solutions

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Time is a funny thing. On the one hand it appears fixed. A minute on my watch equals a minute on your watch.

On the other hand the way you perceive time varies.

Time appears to runs slow when you:

• Are watching water boil
• Are waiting for a bus when you are running late
• Are watching the second finger of a watch rotate.

Time appears to run fast when you are:

• Watching a great movie
• Playing action video games
• Falling in love

I am in the middle of completing a software program – Life Manager Pro. This involves many hours of computer coding and requires lots of concentration. When I am absorbed in this task time goes very fast.

The conclusion that I have come to is that when you are completely absorbed in some activity without any external distractions then your perception of time is that it is travelling fast. The dilemma that I find is that I want  pleasurable activities such as watching an episode of my favourite TV series Lost or playing a great game, to last longer than they do?

So how do you slow down time and stop it flying?

The best way to slow down time is to practice mindfulness. This involves a mental technique of stepping back from an activity. For example, whilst watching that gripping episode of the TV series Lost, start to observe the colours of the trees, the sea, the beach. Watch the characters body language. Be aware of the area that surrounds the television. What you will find is that you are still enjoying yourself, but you have slowed down time.

Mindfulness is also great if you find yourself thinking too much or worrying about stuff. Stop and be aware of your senses, the sound you hear, the colours you see, the touch of your feet on the ground. As your focus of attention away from your thoughts, they will become less intense, less troubling.

There is a knack to mindfulness. You might not get it the first time that you try, but persevere and you will be rewarded.

I used to work in an office of a large company. I generally worked from 9 until 5.30 at night thinking that I had done a fair day’s work for my pay. I noticed that others on the floor where I worked were always there when I arrived and still there when I left. I was never sure what they were doing early morning and late at night. Perhaps they were not doing a lot, but believed their presence gave the impression that they were working long and productive hours.

Though there are days when I do work long hours I now realise that the number of hours that I work are not as important as what I actually do during those hours.

• Do you work long hours?
• Are you working at optimal efficiency during all those hours?
• Could you work less hours yet achieve more?

There used to be a lady manger who also had a busy family life. Although she had a board level job she claimed that she could get as much done in a 8 to 6 day as many of her colleagues did in a 60 to 80 hour week.

How is this possible?

One approach that I found to work is Getting Things Done, a perspective on organising your life formulated by David Allen.  His method promotes efficiency and, perhaps more importantly, eliminates stress due to feeling overwhelmed and out of control.

One of the principles of this  method is to write things down, either on paper of electronically on the computer.  What you write down is all the stuff that is in your head – things that need to be done, projects that need to be completed, people to call, things to buy…

Once you have written them down, you organise and clarify your lists. What this essentially means is working out what to do with things, when to do them and where.  You then forget about them. There is no need to keep any of this stuff in your head any more.

This simple process can take away so much stress from your life. You can get rid of all those nagging thoughts:

• Must ring my sister soon.
• Got to pay that tax bill
• We are nearly out of milk, must get another carton next time I’m out
• I’m sure there was a meeting today somewhere

Another part of this system is to look at things that need to be done in terms of context. A context is usually a physical location or object. One object that you use everyday is a telephone.  When you are organising your lists, make a list only for telephone calls. Then, when you are with your telephone, either in your office, or perhaps with your cell phone whilst waiting for a train, just start making those calls.

My major project at the present is Life Manager Pro – software based around the GTD system. The program is undergoing final testing after the interface was overhauled last week.  For more details go to lifemanagerpro.com

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Many years ago I had the idea to write software that would help organise my life.  Five years later and the goal is about to be achieved.

Why did it take 5 years? The answer will be revealed later.

If you want to build a shed in the back garden you don’t just think, I’ll get 10 planks of wood  from somewhere and some nails then just sort of start building the thing. No, you follow a procedure:

•    start with a to-scale  plan of the shed on a piece of paper
•    calculate how much wood you need. how many nails and what tools that you require
•    Go down to the store and buy the materials.
•    Start building the shed
•    Stand back and admire your handiwork

All this is common sense, so why is it when it comes to the most important goals in your life, you do not write them down then create a plan of action to achieve your goals. If you do, then congratulate yourself because you are one of the 4% of the population that do. The rest of you  bumble along with hopes and dreams but with no plan of action to achieve these dreams. Maybe you believe in the law of attraction and simply just believe that if you focus on your goals they will magically be fulfilled with no effort on your part/.

And this is why my dream of writing software did not happen for 5 years. Life sort of got in the way. I became busy in my work and social life and though the software writing goal was still in the back of my mind I had no plan of action to make it happen.  That is, until recently when I wrote down my goal, created an action pan and then  went ahead and wrote it.

The result: :Life Manager Pro, software that enables you to take control of your life and make things happen.

The program is in the final testing stage and will be launched very soon. Come back to the Positive Self Development website for an exciting announcement soon.

If you want more information about Goals then a new article by Donna Scott has been added to the article section.

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It always surprises me where my readers come from. I use a system called AWstats that tracks this information. Here is the top 10 countries from where readers arrived at this site:

• United States
• China
• India
• Great Britain
• Germany
• Canada
• Indonesia
• Bangladesh
• Australia
• Netherlands

The statistics surprise me. I would never have thought that Bangladesh was interested in self development.

At number 16 is Pakistan. One of my readers has a high profile blog site called the Pakistani Spectator. Though primarlily concerned with Pakistan social and political issues they asked me to do an interview for them.

To read this interview go to:

http://www.pakspectator.com/interview-with-blogger-stephen-williamson/

In the interview I mention the new software that I am finishing. It now has a name Life Manager Pro. Watch out for a announcement about this in the next day or two.

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Here are 10 common ways that people use to achieve their goals. How many of these strategies do you use?

1. Make a step-by-step plan
2. Motivate yourself by focussing on someone who has achieved a similar goal
3. Tell other people about your goal
4. Think about bad things that will happen if you do not achieve your goal
5. Think about the good things that will happen if you achieve your goal
6. Try to suppress unhelpful or negative thoughts about your goal and how to achieve it
7. Reward yourself for making progress in your goal
8. Rely on willpower
9. Record your progress
10. Fantasize or visualize how great your life will be when you achieve your goal

These 10 strategies are commonly thought to be successful components of effective goal achievement.

As explained by Richard Wiseman in his new book 59 Seconds: Think a Little, Change a Lot, research has revealed that only half of these strategies are actually effective.

In fact the odd numbered strategies have been proven to be successful whilst the even numbered ones are not very effective tools even though they have been widely recommended by lots of self-development teachers.

Let’s look at why the even numbered strategies do not work very well if you want to give up smoking.

2. If you focus on someone you know who has given up smoking, their example does not mean that you will find it any  easier to give up smoking.

4. The bad thing that will happen if you give up smoking  is your deteriorating health. If you focus on this you will feel fear and anxiety and this state of mind will make it more difficult to quit.

6. You may think that the best thing that you can do is not to think about cigarettes. But, if I give you the instruction: “Do not think about a cigarette”, what happens, You cannot stop thinking about a cigarette. Try an experiment. Do not think of a purple elephant for the next 30 seconds. Were you successful? I doubt it.

8. It is possible that willpower alone will be enough to stop smoking, but this is rarely the case. Yes, you do need a certain amount of willpower, but using quit smoking aids such as nicotine patches and gum can ease the withdrawal from cigarettes.

10. Visualising a smoke free you sounds an appealing thing to do, but evidence shows that fantasising or visualising has limited effect as it often leads you to thinking that the process of achieving your goal is easier than it is.

How do the odd  numbered positive strategies work in the case of giving up cigarettes?

1. Planning your route to being cigarette free is essential. Research the various aids that you can use – patches, gum, hypnosis, acupuncture and then plan when and where you will obtain the goods or services.

3. If you tell your friends and family about your plans then you will be motivated to keep trying. If you fail you will feel that you have not only let yourself down, but also your friends and family.

5. Think about how healthy and more energetic you will be when you quit smoking. How will you feel? What will your emotions be: Happy? Elated?

7. If you survive the first week without smoking a cigarette then reward yourself with a treat – a night out, a box of chocolates, a new item of clothing. Reward yourself every week and if you are struggling with the craving for tobacco then focus on the treat that is yours at the end of the week. Perhaps spend the money you would normally spend on cigarettes on this treat to remind you how much money you will save when you are not buying cigarettes.

9. Record your progress. Keep a journal or diary of how you are feeling each day. Record the level of your craving on a scale of 1 to 100. As you progress you will find this level decreasing and this will encourage you to keep going.

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Breathing exercises become essential as you get older because age reduces the level of oxygen in your lungs. When you only take shallow breaths, as you do in normal breathing, you will eventually notice stiffness in your rib cage as the muscles surrounding the diaphragm start to lose their elasticity. This causes stale air to build up in your lungs that is composed mostly of carbon dioxide.

Rapid shallow breathing also leads to heart disease after a number of years or excessive feelings of tiredness. Breathing exercises to cleanse the stale air in your lungs should be practiced on a daily basis. You do not need to set aside a long period of time for this – five to ten minutes is sufficient. You can do the exercises when you wake in the morning or just before you go to sleep at night.

In fact, if you engage in these exercises when you go to bed, they will help your muscles relax making it a lot easier for you to fall asleep and get a good night’s rest. You should lie flat on your back to do breathing exercises. Make yourself as comfortable as possible. If you need to, place some small pillows under your neck and knees so that you spine is straight. As you breathe naturally, take notice of the rise and fall of your chest and abdomen.

Lay your hands on your stomach, just below your rib cage where your diaphragm is located. The lungs do extend down to this point. Take in a deep breath until you feel your lungs reaching down to this point. A helpful tip to let you know when the lungs extend to this point is to place your hands so that the tips of your middle fingers are slightly touching each other.

As you take a deep breath and your lungs expand, your fingers will start to move apart. In true breathing exercises let the muscles of your stomach relax and feel it filling with air. Once you feel as if your belly is full, let the air expand your chest and lungs. As you let the breath out slowly, you will feel your stomach start to pull inwards forcing out the last bit of air.

You can also do humming breathing exercises in which you make a humming sound as you exhale slowly. By concentrating on your breathing and humming each time you exhale, you will experience a feeling of relaxation in all parts of your body. Chinese breathing exercises involve taking short breaths. To do this exercise you take three short breaths in through your nose without exhaling between them.

For the first inhalation, lift your arms out from your sides so that they stand out in front of you at shoulder height. On the third inhalation, open your arms out to your sides, still keeping them at the same height. When you take in the third inhalation, lift your arms up over your head. Then as you exhale, you bring your arms back to the starting position by your sides.

You should not take more than twelve breaths in this exercise because it can cause you to feel lightheaded. One caution about this form of breathing exercise is that you should only engage in this exercise when you are in a sitting position. It could cause you to hyperventilate if you are standing or lying down.

Correct breathing reduces stress. More information on stress reduction

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