Positive Thinking Does Not Give You Confidence

ConfidenceYou normally associate confidence with positive thinking, positive attitude and a strong will power. People often miss out a vital ingredient in their confidence building strategies.

I used to lack confidence. This meant that there were several situations that I found extremely uncomfortable:

  • Finding myself in a room of complete strangers.
  • Giving a presentation to a room full of people.
  • Attending a job interview
  • Asking a girl out on a date

Gradually I learnt how to build confidence and now, though I am still a little shy, I can cope with most social situations.

How do you start to build your confidence? Some people start with positive thinking.

Though positive thinking plays a part, you can start by trying a much simpler technique.

The place to start building your confidence is through your body language. It is important to recognize how your physiology affects your confidence levels.

Try sitting in a chair with your head looking down and your body slumped forward, your spine curved. Notice how you feel. Now sit up straight, your shoulders back, your chest out, your head upright and looking forward. Do you feel different?

Why is this? If you observe a depressed person their body language is slumped similar to the first position you tried. The first step for a depressed person to deal with their depression is to alter their posture.

Observe a very confident person’s body posture. Try to copy their posture.

Another difference in confident people is how they walk. If you want to walk like them then:

  • Hold your chin high
  • Have a straight back
  • Walk swiftly but carefully
  • Do not bend your waist
  • Smile!

Whilst your positive mental attitude does affect your confidence, it is surprising how much your body posture can contribute to the feeling of confidence and well-being.

Positive Thinking alone will not give you confidence. You also need to take into account physiological factors.

After you have sorted your posture out then you can start to look at the mental side of things.

Further details on how to do this

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  1. My mother was always after me to stand up straight. She was right. Changing how we carry our bodies, can have a profound impact on self confidence, and feeling confident is a great stress reducer. A lot of stress is caused by uncertainty especially uncertainty about ourselves. Creating a sense of internal confidence and security, diminishes the impact of stress caused by external events.

  2. What a facinating article. I’m looking for an NLP expert to help with a project, could you help?


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