Its OK to Be Negative

I’ve just finished reading Smile or Die by Barbara Ehrenreich. The book is a critique of positive thinking and positive psychology and how it has infiltrated American life in such a way to become a negative force.

What’s wrong with having positive thoughts?  Well, obviously most of the time it’s OK to think positively but taken to a fundamental level, as has often been the case, then positive thinking is not always realistic thinking. Barbara makes a case for positive thinking being a large factor in the  recent collapse of the banking system. Many people were making money from the sub prime mortgage market in which money to buy housing was given to the less well off. These mortgage debts were then sold on in the form of financial securities to people who saw vast amounts of profits to be made from them .

A few individuals saw that there was a basic flaw in the prime mortgage market. The system  relied on house prices always going up. If a low paid worker could not keep up with the payments, they could always release some funds by re-mortgaging to finance the payments. But what happens if house prices start falling?

People who voiced these concerns were not listened to. They were accused of being too negative, and in a banking culture where positive thinking was the order of the day, negative thought was not to be listened to.

Of course the ‘negative’ people were right, and when house prices started to fall, the whole banking house of cards began to collapse, resulting in the failure of the banking system.

If positive thinking and positive psychology can have such devastating effect, then how are we to proceed? What is needed is realistic rather than positive thinking alone. What is realistic thinking?

Here are some examples:

• If your boss fires you then get angry with him.
• If your partner leaves you for another then get mad and throw a plate or two.
• If a careless driver crashes into your brand new car then scream at him or her.
• If your washing machine springs a leak and floods the kitchen then swear out loud.
• If an earthquake ruins your house then shout at God for allowing such a thing.

All the above responses are realistic and appropriate responses to the situation. You are not repressing how you feel by coating it in some positive thinking stuff. The zealots of positive thinking and positive psychology say:

• If your boss fires you see it as an opportunity. One door closes another one opens.
• If your partner leaves you then realise that you can attract an even better partner
• Never mind,  insurance will cover the damage on the car.
• Maybe your washing machine was not energy efficient. Now is the time to go out and buy a super Eco friendly rated washing machine
• You wanted to renovate your house anyway so now is the right time to do it.

None of the psychobabble helps. Something awful has happened and you have very right to feel mad and negative.

The problem here is not your first response, which may be negative, but how long you hold onto that response. Once you have vented your anger, sworn or cursed God, then it is time to move on from focusing on the problem to focusing on the solution, and once your focus is solution orientated then positive thinking arises.

Barbara also points out the flaw in the law of attraction. If you are a fan of the law of attraction then you say that  you have attracted to yourself all the situations in the above scenarios. In some cases that could be the case. Your boss may have fired you because you were incompetent, your partner left you because your were cruel to him, your washing machine was old, so no wonder it broke.  If you always take this view then you are neglecting the chaos that is in the world. Sometimes shit just happens. Randomness and chaos appear frequently to disrupt your life. Not everything is your fault. There maybe no one to blame. There has just been a terrible earthquake in Haiti. There is no one to blame for this. Nobody attracted the earthquake. It just happened.

When things don’t go your way, get mad, then stand up and do something about it. True negativity is when you hang onto the negative thoughts to the point where depression overwhelms you. When life knocks you down, stay on the ground for a moment or two and curse the gods. then get up, brush yourself off and walk on.